I did a lot of inner work in 2019, and through it all, I ended up with questions about my heart. Am I good at heart? What’s really in my heart?
Is it right, good, decent, positive, moral, honorable, true, and sweet? Or is it wrong, bad, critical, negative, judgmental, hardened, and bitter?
What I realized was that my heart was not completely right and not completely wrong. My heart is probably somewhere in the middle of right and wrong, which sounds normal for most of us humans. Sounds pretty good, right?
What do you think about when…
Have you spent time thinking about your heart? What do you think when you’re hurt? What is your attitude when someone gets something you want? What thoughts swirl around when things don’t go our way or even when we’re on top of the world? These are just some questions to ponder and actually think about what we think about.
Other than exercising and eating heart-healthy foods, what work do we do to improve our hearts? The kind of work I am thinking about cannot be completed in the gym or the kitchen. Although, would someone please pass me a statin because I do have a heart-clogging cholesterol problem too.
Matters of the heart
On a quest to learn about the heart, I went to the Source, the Author of life, God, and His Word. There are many verses about the heart in the Bible. I haven’t been able to find an accurate count yet but so far it seems the word heart is found approximately 800 times in the King James Version.
The following three verses lead me to explore and learn more about what God thinks about matters of the heart.
But the Lord said to Samuel, Look not on his appearance or at the height of his stature, for I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees; for man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7 (AMP)
Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life. Proverbs 4:23 (AMP)
But let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God. 1 Peter 3:4 (AMP)
Springs of Life
I’ve listed the above verses in order of appearance in the Bible. However, the middle verse, “Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life,” says it all. The springs of life flow from the heart. It seems to me that there is nothing more important than the heart. It doesn’t say that springs of life flow from the brain. If the heart stops beating, there is no life. If someone is declared “brain-dead,” their heart can continue to beat, and the body can continue to exist, albeit not with function. If the heart stops, the brain stops and there is no function, no life.
The inner man
The other two verses speak of the inward person of the heart. The Lord sees not as man sees. Instead of our outside beauty, hairstyles, jewelry, and clothing, it is the inward, hidden person of the heart that is very precious in the sight of God. Us humans have this backward, don’t we?
We all spend time on our hair, makeup, diets, and clothes however, can we say that we’ve done the same due diligence for our hearts? Unfortunately, I can’t say that I have.
A change of heart
At the end of 2018, I decided to see a therapist every other week. Why? Because I finally got sick of trying to be me, and I wanted to change my mind. I went into therapy to change my mind, but by the end of 2019, I ended up having a change of heart. All of my former “trying” wasn’t leading to the real me at all. Trying to fit in, to be good enough, and be like everyone else is mentally exhausting and makes the heart sick and tired.
So, instead of trying to be someone else, I’ve decided to be the me God intended me to be. Since all of life flows from the heart, I am embarking on a journey of discovering what matters to God the most, the heart.